April at The Idea Backpack asked an interesting question today. How do you deal with divas? She defined a diva as “that overly dramatic…everything is a crisis…nothing is ever my fault student”
As I read her descriptions of situations, I realized that I have two main strategies for them: redirect and/or turn the responsibility around on them.
At times there are children that are overly dramatic about little things. Not being able to find their pencil means to them that someone stole it.
When I have students that announce their “crisis” aloud, I simply say, “Thanks for sharing. How are you going to solve that problem?”
Sometimes I stick around to hear the answer. Sometimes I just pose the question and walk away.
At the beginning of the year, the look of shock on their face can be amusing. Often these students are the way they are because someone in their life has done everything for them. Realizing that the teacher expects them to solve their own problems can be a bit overwhelming for them.
It is our responsibly, though, to teach them to be product members of society.
At first, the child will look lost or upset. But as I walk away, I listen. Usually someone around them gives them practical advice. “Go get another pencil from the sharp pencil cup.”
I pay attention. If the child doesn’t get advice or figure out a solution, I stop back by using questioning strategies to get the diva to come up with a solution. I want the student to understand that I care but caring means I believe he or she is capable of taking care of himself or herself.
I make an effort to teach the students to be problem solvers, which help reduce tattling and dramatic announcements. I have regular class meetings where students can ask for help with situations in their life. I ask if anyone has a problem they need help solving. After the student shares the problem, I let them call on three students that want to offer them advice. Then, I ask them which solution they are going to try first. I find that this works well for them.
The Hypochondriac Diva
One of the situations I come across a lot is the melodramatic student that is always sick.
I explain that the purpose of a bandaid is to keep the wound clean. So, they know that if they are bleeding, they may put a bandaid on it. Again, I want them to learn to take care of themselves. If they aren’t bleeding, but need to make themselves feel better, I’ll let them put a wet paper towel on it.
I also tell my students that I don’t want anyone throwing up in the classroom. If they need to throw up they have permission to run to the bathroom without asking. I tell them though that a true emergency happens once a year.
There is always that kid that “does’t feel good” on a daily basis. I have a few strategies for that child.
Sometimes I’ll say, “Thanks for sharing” or “I’m sorry to hear that” and walk away.
Other times I’ll ask, “What do you think we should do about that?”
If the child wants to go to the nurse or call home and I’m not sure they are really sick, I give them a timeline. I’ll say, “If you still feel that way when it is time for recess, let me know.” If they complain that their stomach hurts, I remind them about our throw-up-in-the-bathroom policy. That cures the kid that is “sick” because they don’t like math. Most kids forget they were sick. If a child comes to me after that chunk of time, then I send them to be checked out.
I’ve found that divas who are used to someone responding to their drama, improve after a year of being expected to solve their own problems.
Edit: I think as I move to fifth grade, I’ll share this video. It will be a great conversation starter about taking care of yourself.
Head back to The Idea Backpack linky for more ideas and strategies.
Mrs. Wathen says
Great ideas:) I love putting the responsibility on the children. This helps them to become independent thinkers and problem solvers. It is our job teach them how to do this:)
Tammy
The Resourceful Apple
April Walker says
I love the idea of asking them how they want to fix it. Great answer!
~April
The Idea Backpack
ideabackpack@gmail.com
Mercedes Hutchens says
Thanks Tammy and April! It's great watching kids grow from "divas" to responsible children. Sometimes they just need someone to believe they can solve their own problems.